Why Bother?

A cynic's angst

I’m discouraged today. My cynicism is kicking the crap out of my hope, and while hope may or may not be audacious, it is getting harder and harder to get it off the mat.

Los Angeles is an occupied city. Not by the demonic hordes of illegal immigrants that Noempathy and JD (Just Disgraceful) Vance claim, but by US military. There have been no significant disturbances or violence since like the 9th - No Kings was entirely peaceful - despite the right and its media outlets claiming it is literally burning and continuing to show weeks old images as evidence. The response to this? Send in more troops and step up the harassment of brown people. Papers please. LA is not alone, and since the appeals court just gave the stamp of approval, and future useful precedence for other courts, to this unconstitutional and illegal authoritarianism it will undoubtedly ramp up. ICE has changed the rules regarding congressional oversight. My first question is since when do the overseen get to dictate the limitations of the overseers? The second is why would they need to change these rules if, as they claim, everything is fine? I keep hearing about how unpopular this all is, how even diehard MAGAs and DesPOTUS bootlickers are dismayed. And?

Republican members of Congress stand in front of cameras every single fucking day and tell bald-faced lies about their massive domestic policy/tax debacle. Even conservative analysts are forced to concede, much to their dismay, that this is an egregiously regressive travesty. The rich get richer, the safety net gets shredded - remember when Medicaid and Medicare were untouchable? - and the burden falls on the already grossly overburdened. Being willing to spew outrageous falsehoods to defend bad legislation is nothing new, and certainly not limited to the GOP, but this is not only next-level shit, but is striking in that it combines an element of shamelessness, in its most literal sense of doing things of which you should be ashamed, that we haven’t seen before.

People are dying all over the underdeveloped world because of what the DOGEBags did back in February. This is not speculative or hyperbolic. People on the ground in places like Sudan and Liberia have the proof. Hell, they ARE the proof. I’m not generally a big fan of Nicholas Kristof, but he is doing some remarkable and horrifying reporting on this, from the places it is happening. I would encourage you to look into it, but it is so heartbreaking - I’m not kidding, I wept and felt sick reading it - I hesitate. Just be warned. And when Lil Marco was asked about this, by Congress, he not only denied it but accused the people revealing it of lying. (The fact that he could be in the same cohort as such giants as Dean Acheson, Elihu Root and William Seward, not to mention Adams and Jefferson, is appalling.) Cutting USAID in the name of ending fraud and waste only to have hundreds of millions of dollars - that was donated! - go to waste only because we cut the funding to distribute it, funding that amounted to less than one quarter of one per cent of US spending, is not just stupid and wrong but evil. And by the way, Congress has now had not one, but two, opportunities to undo that travesty and didn’t. And the next person who trots out the “why is it our job to save those children?” defense might get punched in the face. The answer is BECAUSE WE CAN! I would hazard that the vast majority of Americans never even knew it was happening, much less felt a bite out of their paycheck for the miniscule slice of the tax pie that paid for it. Shame on us.

Nothing revelatory, so why the doom and gloom? My wife and I went to our local No Kings event last weekend - I even served as a marshal - and, yeah it was great. Hopeful and encouraging to see little old Po-Town turning out like 1,500 people for the cause. Felt good, too. But this Saturday is no different from that Saturday. I still want to puke and throw my laptop through my TV while watching and reading the news. Learning that it may have been the largest nationwide protest in US history might have actually made me feel worse, because it means nothing. The people who have the power to change things either can’t or won’t, and worse, it is true of many of them that they simply don’t want to.

As for me, this little project had unclear goals or purposes from the start, and if anything that has only become more true over time. It might have been for my own therapy, giving me a place to vent and howl at the moon in the face of my fear and sorrow. I often described it as shouting into the void, but that turned out to be too true. I ostensibly did not do it to gain a following or establish some online presence, but I am forced to admit I must have been hoping for that very thing, despite my noble protestations. I am grateful to my readers, and have had some lovely compliments, support, and encouragement. I have to cop, however, to being disappointed that my readership has not grown. Turns out my ego and a desire for attention might have been involved after all. That very same ego tried to cling to the old chestnut that even if I reached only one person, or cast light on one issue, then I was part of the solution. But let’s face it, loyal follower (or not, as many of you are only subscribers because I added you to the list and you were too polite to unsubscribe, but thanks for that anyway), I am the preacher to your choir. I am not sure where all this self-pity and doubt might be leading, and I should probably apologize for subjecting you to it, but what the hell. I do generally find writing to be cathartic, and generally enjoy it, so maybe I’ll swear off politics and current events and try to write on broader, more appealing topics. Or maybe I’ll hang it up. Or maybe this episode of semi-existential angst will prove fleeting and I will be back at it soon, burgeoning cynicism be damned. Meanwhile, if you need me I’ll be working on my trailer conversion and planning for Burning Man, one of the few things I find to be hopeful about these days. But as always, thanks for reading. Seriously. Selah.